Internet Manifesto - Home
Pseudo-Code for Life

void function Life(void)
{
     Baby = new Child();
     age = 0;

     if (Baby){
          goto KINDARGARTEN;
     }
KINDARGARTEN:
     while (1 == 2)
     {
          play(nursery_games);
          cry(often); 
          tease(girls); 
     } 
     Baby = false;

     if (Teenage){
           printf("rebel! rebel! return your dress!");
           goto MIDDLE_SCHOOL;
     }
MIDDLE_SCHOOL:
     while (years < 12)
     {
         attend(class);
         grow(new pimples[]);
         years++;
      } 
ADULT_LIFE: 

      while (forever)
      {
          if (today >= monday &&
              today <= friday)
          {
               if (cur_time(NOW) < "5:00 PM")
               {
                     do_some(work);
                     surf_net("http://www.angst.com");
                     check(email);
                     send(email);
                     attend_meeting
                      {
                          switch (progress)
                          {
                          case BEGINNING:
                               blah; blah; blah;
                           case MIDDLE:
                               blah; blah; blah;
                           case END:
                               blah; blah; blah;
                               printf("we'll meet again");
                               sprintf("shit");
                            }
                       } 
                       surf_net("http://www.blondes.com");
                       check(email);
                       send(email);
               }
               else
               {
                    goto HOME;
                }
          }
          else
          {
WEEKEND:
                 do_laundry();
                 meet_girlfriend(flowers);
                 she_goes_shopping(forever);
                 surf_net("http://www.sex.com");
                 she_comes_home(late);
                 surf_net("http://www.bloomberg.com");
                 check(email);
                 send(email);
                 Sleep(80000);
                 wait_for(clock);
                 wake_up(morning);
            }
            today++;
            continue;
      }

return (NULL);
}
 

 

Copyrights©1999 Ja Uhm

Home

[Return to Internet Manifesto Homepage] [Site Map]